On blogging & the power of being real (which isn't always about being 'dark')
"Everything changes and nothing stands still." — Heraclitus.
I realised something really cool at a workshop I held in Melbourne last Tuesday night. Quite a few of the women who came along let me know that the reason they were there, was because of a blog post I wrote a few years ago. Some had read the post when it was published in May 2013, some had only recently stumbled upon it. It was good for me to hear, because sometimes I forget that my 'ranty / personal' blog posts aren't as 'useful' as the ones that I go in with '10 ideas for...' or 'how to...'The post in question was a very confused, personal and frustrated blog post (here it is!) as I hadn't had a period in months and months, I'd just been diagnosed with PCOS and I did not hold back on how I was feeling! I provided zero guidance or tips or 'how to's'. Nothing like that at all.
That post STILL gets more comments EVERY SINGLE WEEK than any other blog post I've written. At the time, I was confused as to whether or not I should leverage that type of interaction, when I didn't really feel inspired (or knowledgable enough) to talk about periods and PCOS in a 'here's how I can help you' way. So I just kept telling my story.
And now, a few years on, THAT'S the post that is STILL bringing people to my blog and to my workshops, where I'm now sharing and teaching everything I have learnt about self-care and menstrual cycles over the past few years. Stuff I had noooooooo idea I was on the cusp of learning about back then. I'm sharing this important, life-changing information with women who are only NOW finding that old blog post!
Here's why this is super important as the online world shifts and changes:
There has been a lot of interesting conversation happening of late, querying whether blogging is dead (love this answer to that one) and what it takes to be seen and heard online these days. Instagram freak out this week anyone? ;-)
Change is inevitable and to be expected. What doesn't change though, is the human experience and need to share, connect and tell stories. Personally, starting a blog three years ago was one of the best decisions I have ever made. It's been a space that I can visit to unravel, share, connect, create and play.
Have I held some stories back at times or felt unsure as to how much is 'too much' to share? Yes! Have I caught myself wondering if I'm being 'authentic' or 'vulnerable' enough? (Am I the only one getting sick of that word?) Sure! I'm always reminding myself that no blog or website is ever going to fully encapsulate who I am, as a well-rounded, 3D, real life human being with quirks and faults and wonders galore. I'm always reminding myself to just write what I want to write.
However, meeting these women in the flesh last week, was just the reminder I needed that simply being true and honest and telling stories is not only 'enough', but it is POWERFUL and IMPORTANT. These stories plant seeds for dreams that you haven't even imagined for yourself yet. We've got no idea where or when our words and stories will land; what greater plan is unfurling.
So the spirit of being 'real' (which isn't always about being 'dark' by the way), here are some mini stories from my world:
+ Melbourne got to me a little last week. I found it really hard to ground myself and connect in. Sleep did not come easily. I moved to Melbourne when I was 19 and left at 26, and yes, there were a few old, unwelcome stories that I bumped into in the streets. I realised that some friendships are no longer what they were and are no longer really anything. And that that’s OK. I love that city very much, but I have no plans or desire to live there again.
+ I've admitted to myself (and now to you!) that I want to write a book. A real life, hold-in-your-hands published book. Holy shit.
+ I’ve realised that I’ve genuinely created a working life that is independent of having a set location. While this has been the dream for some time now, not having a dedicated office space is proving difficult to get used to. Grateful: YES! Feeling inspired: YES! But also… Tired.
+ Two of my siblings spent time in the Emergency department of various hospitals this past week. Both totally fine, but it’s moments like these as you get older that you really look at your family and see their (and your) mortality.
+ I’m spending a lot of time away from my partner Andrew at the moment. Part of me misses him a lot (so many airport tears!), but there’s another large part that is very much enjoying the solitude and time alone. I'd say he feels the same. And I like that. :)
+ I’m the happiest, most content with my body and health, than I have ever been in my entire life. I wish I knew the formula, the 'secret' that I could share with those who are still on their own path of body love, but alas, I do not. I don’t actually believe there is one. Time, patience, willingness, kindness, compassion are all good starting points though. This is a good place to start too.
+ I know that the current work I am doing around exploring and embracing our menstrual cycle is the most profound work I have done yet. I am humbled beyond belief that I’ve been given the task of sharing my story and this information. Perhaps this work is the closest I could get to soothe the souls of those struggling with the above!
+ My desire to learn has reached fever pitch. I’m confused about where to direct this energy though. Finish my masters? Start a new undergrad? Start a new postgrad? Study online? Explore options to study in the UK / Europe? Complete some non-certified online options in areas of interest? More self-study? A lot of questions, not a lot of answers in this realm right now.
+ I’m terrified of moving to London in May (will I like it? can we really afford it? is it a good idea? etc. etc.), but I'm getting more excited as the days pass by. London is (funnily enough) a compromise — I would prefer to move to Berlin — but it feels like an excellent starting point filled with opportunities and inspiration for whatever adventures await us.
+ I’m open to getting some part time or casual work in London. Mostly to meet new people and be actively involved in the community. Sometimes staring at your computer screen on your own for hours at a time can be really isolating. I love working for myself, but I’m open to whatever comes my way, be it more entrepreneurial opportunities or a fun and inspiring work environment where I can learn more and meet some rad people.
+ I’m really grateful that you’re here, reading and following along. Last week I sent out a survey and giveaway to my email tribe (if you're not on it, join us!) and was stunned to read the kind and generous feedback. When I pressed publish on my very first blog post in 2013, I had no idea that I was about to attract this amazingly creative, fun, inspiring and kind community that we have here. I’m one very lucky girl.
Now, do share with me in the comments below (so I know you’re still out there!) what's a mini 'real' story that you're ready to share? How can you give the world a little more real, a little more you? Or are you noticing the changes in the blogging / online world too?
Claire x