Some heartfelt ramblings on craving adventure, surrender & expectations
Recently, I’ve been craving adventure. Mad, spontaneous, rebellious adventure. After dreaming of London every night for a week in April, I was absurdly close to throwing caution to the wind and booking a ticket to just go.
But I also intuitively knew that it wasn’t London calling me (this time); it was a change of routine. It was spontaneity. The un-planned-ness of Life. The feeling that you get when you stretch yourself that liiiiittle bit further, try something new, go somewhere new, meet someone new, leave your creature comforts at the door and propel yourself into a space you’ll need to adapt to - and fast.
Which is quite hilarious to me now, because I’ve completely manifested what I wanted. But it looks nothing like what I’d expected.
I’m definitely not where I thought I’d be by now.
But I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.
The (only) answer: Surrender.
I’ll be frank. I feel as if every single plan I’ve made this year has been changed and every expectation I had about what things might look like by June (yes, it’s June!) has bred frustration and confusion and even a little disappointment when things didn’t go the way I’d hoped.
Believe me, I know all about detaching and letting go of the outcome, trusting in the process and going with the flow… But I’ll be honest. It’s much, much easier said than done. Particularly when things are completely 100% out of your control. Which, as it turns out, is pretty much everything.
I’ll cease my crypticness by highlighting here that I’m mostly referring to our living arrangements/"moving across the country to Queensland plans", that have been chopped and changed and chopped again. I’ve made decisions this year (based on these expectations) that have drained both cash and energy. I’ve had to step away from commitments I’ve made and probably disappointed quite a few people along the way.
I’m definitely not where I thought I’d be by now.
But I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.
The (only) answer: Surrender.
"I welcome the space and resources I require to manifest my soul’s desire."
That right there was my intention for the last lunar cycle. As I shared back in this post, I recently cleared the decks for May to give myself an entire month dedicated to moving across the country (see above note on expectations) and creating an eCourse centred around nurturing creativity and self expression. (You can register your interest for that here if you like!)
My expectation was that I’d have all the space in the world at home in Perth to pack our life up and immerse myself in writing, researching and creating content… And the resources, well, that was on the Universe’s To Do list. ;-)
But due to a strange twist of fate, for the half the month of May, I found myself curled up in a bathrobe in a hotel room in… Adelaide. Definitely not Queensland! Definitely not Perth.
But I had new cafes to work from, zero housework to be distracted by (!!!) and while living out of a hotel feels a tad out of my comfort zone (really, I'm a total homebody), it was adventure I asked for, right?!
I’m definitely not where I thought I’d be by now.
But I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.
The (only) answer: Surrender.
Why was I in Adelaide? My man needed to make a last minute work trip there for two weeks.
So I changed my flight back from Brisbane (I’d been there hosting a workshop) to join him. Side note: Owning a business that is independent of location is actually one of the greatest gifts ever. So incredibly grateful for this!
The decision felt easy. Cheap flight. Simple to change. Space to work. Adventure waits. Hello South Australia!
And then there I was, sitting in a pop up cafe in the middle of Adelaide, surrounded by some seriously inspiring, creative women who are doing amazing things in their businesses/blogs/the world. (I'm talking this gal, this gal and this gal.) In our line of laptops, I could hear laughter, ideas, invitations and innovations.
I felt blessed. I felt grateful. I felt kind of like maybe I didn't belong there. Smiling at my inner critic’s attempt to keep me “safe”, I took a breath, stretched my wings and put it out there…
“How about we do a workshop while I’m here?”
YES! PERFECT! LET’S!
And so within hours, the space was booked, the copy was written, ideas were scrawled on the page and dates were locked in. Woah. Things move quickly when we’re aligned. Things move quickly when they’re meant to be.
I’m definitely not where I thought I’d be by now.
But I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.
The (only) answer: Surrender.
I'm trusting that we're not meant to leave Western Australia just yet.
And so here I am. Accepting where we are. Saying a sweet farewell to the Limbo Life we've been living for so long. Signing leases with my man (!!!) and staying on in Perth - for now. And I'm happy! And relieved to be able to make plans again. And disappointed that I'm still very far from home. But excited beyond belief that I'm actually creating a new home - a home with him and a home for us - and that is exactly where I'm meant to be.
The (only) answer: Surrender.
Ramble/share/express with me below. What themes are coming up for you right now? What lessons has 2015 brought with it thus far?
What - and this is key - can you surrender to?
As always, you're most welcome to share this post wherever you so desire and I'd be grateful if you did. :)
Claire x