#IAMWOMAN: 7 Steps To Own Your Own Power (You Fierce Female You!)
I was incredibly honoured this week to have the opportunity to speak at the Lorna Jane #IAMWOMAN event in Perth, to celebrate International Women’s Day. I deeply resonate with the global brand’s ethos of ‘Active Living’, so I was thrilled to be asked to present on Empowering Yourself.
Seriously, such an awesome experience! Lorna Jane's ‘Active Living’ message is not only about moving your body, but also about being active in creating a life you love. I truly believe that we are living in a time where women are more supported, able and encouraged than ever before to step up and create positive change.
Women are leading ground-breaking movements all over the world right now… It’s an exciting time.
So I thought I’d share some of my favourite snippets from my talk to leverage this conversation and continue to crank the #IAMWOMAN message. It’s time for us to own our own power ladies and fly the ‘Fierce Females’ flag! :D
So what does it mean to own your own power?
An empowered women knows who she is, what’s important to her and she lives her life accordingly. She creates goals and intentions for her life and takes discerning action to go after them. She is the captain of her own ship! A woman who owns her own power knows that creativity is her nature. (Need a refresher here? Close your eyes, place your hands over your lower belly and breathe. You are built to create life from this space!)
But here’s the thing. Being self-empowered is realising that these qualities (and that all you need and desire to become the best version of yourself and live a life you love) are already within you.
I remember the first time I heard the line: you already are the person you want to be. It was about 3 years ago and it’s highly likely I was hungover, guilt-ridden and planning my next crazy detox. I could not possibly understand how this person I desired to become (a healthy, happy, creative, charming, beautiful, brave woman), was residing anywhere near me, let alone inside me!
However, the seed was planted and things did begin to change.
So what shifted things?
At this point, I just want to make this very clear. This 'own your own power' business, self love and being the person you want to be, this is a PRACTICE. It certainly doesn’t happen overnight - believe me - but that would be no fun anyway.
TATTOO THESE WORDS TO YOUR HEART: EXPERIMENT, CURIOSITY, COMPASSION.
And…
1. Do what you love
I remember when this was just an inspiring Instagram quote I had saved onto my iPhone. It hit me hard, as I wasn’t carving out ANY time for the things I loved. I had stopped “feeling like me”.
So I started to experiment. I’d tried yoga whilst travelling India on my “find myself” world trip, and loved it, so I started going to a weekly class after work and booked myself on a yoga retreat in Bali. I started to bake cakes on the weekends and started drawing and painting again and devouring home decor magazines to get inspiration to decorate my apartment. I started writing more, reading more and heading to the Farmer’s Markets.
This then led me to start this blog and enrol at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition to become a holistic health coach; decisions which have been instrumental in what I’m doing today!
You can find your very own (and beautifully designed) ‘Love List’ PDF and exercise in my free eBook Get Unstuck.
2. What’s important to you?
Our power is nurtured when we are fully aligned with what we value and what’s important to us. When we are in alignment with our values, our actions, thoughts and words reflect that.
We know who we are, what we stand for, what is worth our time, energy and money - and what isn’t - and we radiate a kind of confidence, clarity and certainty.
On the flip side, when we don’t know what we value, we spend our time, energy and money on things we don't really care for. HINT: Money is a big one here! Go through your bank statements and see what feels aligned and what doesn't... This is seriously illuminating!
If you're keen to go deeper with this, I’ve created a ‘Values Exercise’ in my eBook She Is Radiant Toolkit, which you can download right here.
3. The Circle of Life
I adore this tool for its simplicity and profound reflection of what is and isn’t working in our lives. I use this with my clients (and in my personal life) frequently. I’ve re-jigged my version over the years to reflect the areas I specialise in as a coach and you can find it (and a few exercises to go with it) in Get Unstuck.
4. Self Trust & Self Worth
While we can’t really depend on anyone else in our lives 100% (and that’s totally OK), when we trust ourselves to take care of our needs and our desires, we know with a quiet confidence that we're loyal, gentle and kind to ourselves.
Self worth is all about our self-perceived worthiness. Do you value yourself, your talents and your capabilities? Do you know in your heart that you deserve a happy, fulfilling, abundant life?
The thing is, regardless of anything that we have done, haven’t done, achieved or haven’t achieved, we are ALL worthy. You ARE worthy.
Increasing my self trust has also meant that when difficult times fall upon me (as they do to us all), I know that I have the inner power, strength and support to wade through these waters. Less fear of the inevitable + confidence in your core = a far more graceful way to live. Own that.
5. Investigate Your Inner Critic
Perhaps one of the most empowering realisations for me has been that the negative voice inside my head is NOT me. And the same is true for you. You can find a blog post I wrote a little while ago about investigating your inner critic here.
6. Resistance & Fear
Resistance and fear can appear in our food choices, lifestyle habits, relationship, career, finances, spirituality... So basically: EVERYWHERE. We don’t move forward. We keep doing that thing we know we don’t want to do. We resist putting pen to paper, answering the phone or showing up.
But here’s the thing. If you can begin to see fear and resistance as a compass, guiding you where you need to go next, you world will shift.
And if you don’t feel uncomfortable or even a little bit afraid of doing something, you’re probably not stretching yourself far enough. Again, OWN IT.
“Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”
Steven Pressfield
AND…
“Resistance is always lying and always full of shit.”
Steven Pressfield
7. Quit The Distractions
This final step is simple, yet profound. For me, I used alcohol, sugar, social media, partying, crappy relationships and gossip to distract myself from owning my own power and expressing who I really am. And honestly, social media and sugar still show up more often than I’d like.
Again, compassion is key.These distractions are just holding you back from creating the space in your life for your most brilliant self to emerge.
So create the space. Carve out the time in your schedule. Implement boundaries, say NO, examine your relationships and ask for HELP. Be very OK with receiving. If you’re not calling in support, you’re not living a big enough life.
AND WE NEED YOU TO LIVE AN EMPOWERED LIFE!
We need you to express who you are, to take control of your own life and become the Captain of your own ship. The world is truly calling out for it.
Remember, this is all one big experiment. Have fun along the way - and don’t take yourself too seriously!
Tell me in the comments, what step resonated the most with YOU today? And if you enjoyed this post, I'd love for you to share it with your foxy, fierce female friends!